Death's Dominion
by Ramica
Summary: When Raph dies some of the family are not ready to accept that death is forever but can they bring him back? A terrapin tale.
1. Prologue:Death

                            Death's  Dominion.

Disclaimer: I deny any ownership to any adolescent transformed shadow warrior chelonians and their rodent Master.

Author's Note: This story is going in R for one reason and one only. A chapter, which includes the dreaded adult situations-and that gets a little weird, but then again so am I. You will understand when you get there but that single chapter is felt through out the rest of the story. 

 Also this is one of my Terrapin tales. For those not familiar with it a quick explanation is in order,

 Terrapin is a world of humanoid turtles. The Ninja boys ended up finding out about it and later moving there where they could live out their lives as normal citizens. They all settled down with wives and soon began having children. For more information read Welcome to Terrapin in the g-pg 13 section of fanfic. Two of the children play an important role in this story. Also note that the mutagen in the children's bloodstream has caused them to age quickly which means although they are only a year old they have aged to about seven years in a short time.

 Leon- Leo's and Flo's son can foresee the future. His visions of such are often quite extreme.

 And Kayla- Raph's and Joan's daughter. Kayla is what Terrapins call a 'throwback' meaning she is more like Terrapins distant ancestors unable to talk or walk. Thanks to Uncle Don she does have a voice computer and a wheelchair. She was also taught Sign language which Raph adapted to three finger use. He also caught and trained a half deer half horse like creature for Kayla to ride on. Kayla is able to see things that have happened in the past and her visions are often much clearer and easier to direct then Leon's are. Kayla and Leon are close friends. That about covers it. Thanks.

PROLOGUE: DEATH

  Joan shook her head as she leaned in the doorway of the living room her gaze directed to her husband. Raph had become withdrawn, quiet too often she had detected a quick dark look coming into his eyes with a vicious suddenness and fading almost as quickly. He was snappish and surly, more so than usual all the signs were there and she knew them well. Raph was starting to feel controlled, demanded and ordered about. The cure she knew was simple and effective he needed to go out for a while on his own.

 " Raph?" she called softly as she stepped into the living room.

 He grunted but did not turn to look at her, as she slipped her arms around his neck " Why don't you go away for a few days. You haven't been off on your own since before we hid in Ninja Valley during the Minkos and Carjous invasion. You could use a break," she whispered not mentioning that she could use one to. If he didn't leave of his own accord she would either have to kick him out of the house or kill him.

 " What about the class I have with Leo?" he grumped shrugging her off.

 Oh he was in a great mood tonight!

 " Communion starts in a few days you could leave for awhile. There won't be any classes for at least two weeks and I'm sure Leo wouldn't mind handling the class on his own he is fully capable of it you know."

 " Yeah right! That will just give Leo a reason to go gripping at me."

" Leo wouldn't do that Domoskan. He'll understand that you need to get away for a bit. Just think about it alright?"

Raph shrugged non-committed and Joan wisely let it drop she knew this was not one of the times to go pushing. With Raph it was wise to know when to push and when to retreat.

 A few days later though Raph had his backpack packed and he said his goodbyes to Joan and the kids and headed off into the wilderness of Terrapin.

  It took only four days for Raph to start to feel fully relaxed. He enjoyed going off far into the bush pitting himself against the wilds of his adopted home. No noise, no crowds, no timetable to keep but his own and the laws of Survival in full effect when one realized the many dangerous plant and animal life that inhabited Terrapin. It was no wonder most Terrapins opted to stay close to town but that wasn't Raph's way. He would not limit himself. He was alone and preferred it that way.

 He did not set a date on his return he never had before and he wasn't about to start he would stay out until he felt the urge the desire to return home.

 So he stayed out for a few weeks and he kept bushing further for a while longer until he felt the need to return home and began to realize that he missed his wife and his two children and he reluctantly admitted to himself that he had pushed them away quite a bit and had snapped at Kayla and Jerint for the smallest infraction. He knew then it was time to turn towards home.

  Unerringly he chose the shortest route from where he was to town and home and of course as he had been out so far it still took him some time to work his way back but finally after two weeks time he knew that today he would reach home.

 The urgency to be back hurried him along. He was aware of his surroundings to a certain extent more to the point of being aware of a possible attack from a large predatory animal but not really watching where he was going.

  In his haste he tripped over a tree root, which had worked it's way above ground causing him to stumble and lose his footing tumbling to the ground. He cursed himself and his own stupidity he really ought to have paid closer attention.  In Survival school you learned one mistake in the wilds could be harmful and when you factored in his years of Ninja training then he had been twice the fool.

 He stood up and noticed that he had disturbed a hive of Teji insects the tiny bugs were crawling all over him and biting. He moved away from the hive smacking at the irritating insects and brushing them off.

  Teji insects were aggressive little ant like bugs and they would bite any thing that they felt was threatening them or their hive. One bite could cause swelling and itching lots of bites ten to fifty or more could cause fevers and chills as well as the swelling and itching and much more then that could cause a full grown Terrapin to die if they did not receive the antidote in time.

 He considered quickly and decided by the time he gathered what he needed to make the antidote that he could be recovering in his sister in laws lab settled for him what he was going to do.

 He headed quickly towards the medical building stopping only long enough to wash off the rest of the irritating bugs in a lake. 

 By the time he had reached Laura's lab a matter of ten minutes time he was already feeling nauseous and his body had broken out in a cold sweat. He staggered more than walked into Laura's office. Laura jumped to her feet in an instant.

 " What happened Raph?"

  " Teji insects stumbled into their hive by accident." Raph admitted through gritted teeth.

 Laura guided him into the examination room " Just lay down and I'll get the antidote."  
Raph gratefully obeyed quite willing to get off of his feet. Laura returned a syringe in one hand and a cup of medicine in the other.

 " Drink this up Raph. Does Joan know?"

 Raph made a face after downing the medicine " No I was just on my way home when it happened."

 " Just rest then and give the medicine a chance to work. I'll get a hold of her for you." Laura promised as Raph laid back to rest.

  Joan arrived shortly after " How is he doing Laura?"

 " He doesn't seem to be responding to the medication Joan and it ought to be starting to take some effect it might take a little longer with him or it could be something else. I'm searching to see if there is any alternative medicine to try."

 Joan took a deep steadying breath " If he isn't responding what are his chances Laura?" She asked uneasily not really sure that she wanted to know the answer to that one but wanting to know at the same time.

 Laura bit her lip as she looked at her sister, " Not very good I'm afraid. If I don't find out what is causing this or find something else to help him…" Laura didn't finish the sentence she couldn't bring herself to do it.

 Joan winced in acknowledgment of what Laura had left unsaid then she turned and with calm resolve walked back into the exam room. She went over to where Raph laid on the bed his eyes glassy and his breath coming in gasps. She took one of his hands in hers and felt how cold and clammy his skin felt under hers.

 " Raph. Domoskan?"

" Jo…Joanie?"

 " It's me Raph. I'm here?"

 " Some things wrong." He moaned softly.

  " No Raph the bites have just affected you a little more than they would a Terrapin that is all. You'll be fine. Use your ninja training to hold off and slow down the poison" she whispered.

 " No not it. Not able…Joan I'm sorry about before" Raph's breathing was becoming more labored and his eyes unfocused drifting.

  " It is all right I know you needed to get away."

  " Kiss me and get out of here."

 " I'm not leaving you like this Domoskan."

 " Liralen, just go okay? Come back later when I'm better. GO!" he ordered as sharply as he could manage.

 Joan reluctantly agreed in hopes of quieting him more than anything. She bent and kissed him softly on his lips " Take care Domoskan keep fighting it."

 " Later Liralen."

 Joan left the room and stopped to glance at Laura. " Go on home Sis I'll contact you and let you know if there is any change."

 Joan nodded numbly she knew that she would only be in the way there and Laura needed to concentrate on Raph at the moment so it was far better to leave her to her work.

 Laura decided to run some quick test in hopes that they might pinpoint where the problem lay as long as Raph was fighting then she would have to do the same.

  Raph himself felt like something was tearing him apart from the inside, he was getting weaker and could feel it and he could also sense something else drawing closer to him reaching out to draw him in. He needed all his attention focused towards what he felt drawing closer but no matter what he had tried he had not been able to elude or escape it if anything it was closer to him than before. Finally even in his weakened state he realized that it had him surrounded that he could not escape it any longer and before he could fight it off it enveloped him.

  Laura was checking the results of the test when the alarm sounded; she leaped up and raced into the exam room. Going to Raph she injected a heart stimulant drug into him. She had prepared it earlier just in case, and was glad that she had. Then she tried to resuscitate him. 

 No luck with any of that either Raph just wasn't responding to anything today.

 " DAMN IT! Raph don't you do this to us. Don't you do this to Joan Come on fight it!" she yelled at him as she tried once more and received nothing.

 Laura sighed wearily knowing in her soul the battle was over. She sank to the floor shaking and sobbing. Raph, poor Raph. Poor Joan. She didn't want to face the fact that it was over just like that. At times like this she HATED her job.

  Terrapins fully believed that a Doctor would do more for a family member to keep them alive. A doctor would do the absolute best for someone that they CARED for over someone they hardly knew. There was no connection to a stranger but at times like this losing someone that you loved after fighting to keep them alive and knowing you would have to inform others that you loved about it was the hardest thing for her to do. How did one stay detached from proceedings to follow procedure when all she wanted to do was grieve?

 Laura finally shakily got herself under control and started to think of standard procedure. She glanced up at Raph in hopes he would sit up and talk to her admit to her he was only teasing her.

 He lay there still unmoving and she felt hot tears burn her eyes as she turned away again. Think Laura! She chastised herself.

 Contact Master Sharonita. Sharonita would arrange the funeral, and the closing of the Fighting Art School for a time and she would also inform thee other Masters of Terrapin.

  Then she would be expected to notify the family.

 Neither of them would be an easy or welcoming task. Joan, poor Joan. Gods Raph and her have only been married a short time a little over a year now. And now Kayla and Jerint will be growing up with out their father around. 

 Master Taria the Grand Master of Survival School probably would not be amused that she had lost her best student to Teji insects.

 Laura woodenly contacted Master Sharonita and informed her Master of the situation and then she pulled out the turtle comm. Don had given her years ago.

 " Don?"

 " Laura is that you? What is wrong?" Don wondered aloud caring and concern in his tone.

 " I need to see you. All of you here at my lab as soon as you can all get here Don. Don't ask me why now I promise I'll tell you when you get here. Just get Leo, Mike And Splinter."

 " Sure but Splinter and Leo are at the school…"

 " Not for long they won't be just trust me and do this for me Don." Laura's voice just about broke.

 " We'll be there shortly Laura and don't worry what ever it is we can help you Laura." Don promised quickly he had never heard his wife sound so upset as she did now and he could not understand why but he would do as she had asked him and hoped that what ever had upset her so could easily be set to right.

 He set about getting his family together and went over to Laura's lab and when he saw Laura in the office her distraught look was enough to more than worry him. He went over and wrapped his arms around her pulling her close to him offering his comfort, his strength and his love in the simple gesture.

 " What has been going on Laura? What is the problem?"

 " It is about Raph. He was on his way home, when numerous Teji insects bit him. He should have responded to the medicine I gave him but he didn't.

 I think it might be because you boys are so different from Terrapins the mutagen in your blood must have made the antidote ineffective. I tried to find out what was going on there just wasn't enough time…" Laura spoke slowly choosing her words with caution trying to break it to them as gently as she could.

  Splinter hung his head a pained look coming to his eyes. Mike looked confused.

 " Oh I get it your joking right Laura? Never thought you had it in you girl. I mean come on here Raph wasn't brought down by Shredder or any of his goons so there is no way that a bunch of stupid insects could do it."

 " I'm not joking Mike though I wish to hell I was" Laura snapped tears starting to fall again " Mike Raph is dead."

 Leo winced as he sank down into a chair looking as if he had just been struck. Mike shook his head refusing to accept Laura's words.

 " RAPH IS NOT DEAD!" he yelled at her.

 Don clung tighter to Laura his whole body trembling as Mike stormed past them and into the exam room a moment later his anguished wail reached the others and Mike reappeared pushing by the others who were too stunned by the news to stop him and though Splinter did call after him to wait Mike paid no heed to his Master's words.

 " Raph is…gone?" Leo gulped and looked slightly puzzled as if he found such a fact hard to register.

 " I'm sorry Leo. I tried everything I knew. Master Sharonita is looking after the details and I still have to tell Joan and the children. I can give them medicine to help them but I won't be able to ease their pain and Joan might need some one to stay with her for a few days."

 " I will go and help Joan as long as she needs" Splinter offered morosely.

 Laura nodded her thanks to the old rat before burying her face in Don's neck trying to give and accept what comfort she could.

 Kayla answered the door * Aunt Laura, Grandpa what are you doing here?*

 " Is your mom here Kayla?"

*Yeah she is in the living room with Jer. Is this about Dad?*

Laura only nodded.

 Kayla felt a nervous feeling as she wheeled her chair behind her Aunt and Master Splinter. She didn't like this not one bit.

 Joan looked up as Laura entered " Laura what…oh no Laura not Domoskan" Joan gasped trembling slightly.

" Joan oh sis, I'm so sorry. I tried but Raph is…"

 Joan shook her head backing away from Laura as if wanting to deny reject what she knew Laura was going to say.

Splinter went and took Joan into his arms holding her as Laura spoke the dreaded words.

 " He is dead Joan. I'm truly sorry."

 Joan turned and started to cry. Kayla turned and looked at her brother. Jerint was just watching his mom crying on Splinter's shoulder.

 Kayla shook her head Her father dead! There had to be some mistake. No one was more alive than her own father. How could he die? It just didn't make any sense. Yes her mom had told them he had been sick from bites but… she didn't understand.

TBC


	2. After

                            Death's  Dominion

Disclaimer: I deny any ownership to any adolescent transformed shadow warrior chelonians and their rodent Master.

Chapter One- After

The next couple of days were difficult for Joan she ate very little and slept even less. Splinter tried to encourage her to eat but Joan only refused. " If I eat anything I'll just end up making myself sick." She protested and Splinter found no amount of words seemed to ease Joan's grief or pain over Raphael's loss. He told Laura about his concerns and Laura prescribed some pills to help Joan sleep but she didn't want to do too much for Joan right away her sister had to work through this and keeping her medicated to the point she was unaware of her loss would do her no good.

 Joan found the whole house reminded her of Raph, he had been as much a part of this home as their children and there was no where to go in the large house that didn't remind her of his loss.

 Kayla spent her time alone riding Dapples for hours or would visit with Leon, not that her and Leon talked much those first few days they just offered each other a silent comfortable presence something constant in a world that suddenly wasn't.

 Jerint for his part had convinced himself that his dad was only away on his trip and he WOULD come home any day now. He did not want to hear any one who said otherwise.

 Don, Leo and Splinter all felt the loss as well but Mike who had considered Raph both friend as well as brother was the most torn up over his brother's loss. He wanted to deny the truth but he couldn't get the image of Raph's still body lying on the exam bed. Raph was really gone and it was just too ironic when one considered all the battles the boys had fought through all the times they had come so close to death. To survive all that and be killed by some pathetic bugs!

  A few days later the funeral was held, besides the family Master Taria was there, and Raph's and Leo's students from the Fighting Art School had also came to pay last respects.

 It was Leo who held Joan as she broke down and sobbed during the burial and afterwards Laura was forced to give Joan some anti depressants for a time " At least until it gets a little easier on you Joan."

 Joan scoffed at that very idea " Life without my Domoskan will never be easy Laura." Still for the children's sake Joan did manage to pull herself together enough to try and help them to cope with their loss but when they were in bed sleeping Joan could not help it she would find herself crying uncontrollably.

 She couldn't even sleep in Raph's and her old bedroom she was instead sleeping in one of the spare bedrooms where the memories were not so bad. Sometimes while she lay awake in the bed she would, could almost feel Raph pressed up close behind her his touch on her shoulder and his voice whispering softly " Liralen" in her ear but she knew it was only wishful thinking on her part and her mind playing vicious tricks on her by making her THINK he was there with her.

 When Leo learned how upset Joan was from Kayla he started to pop in during the evenings trying to get Joan to talk to him. He knew that there had been nothing he could do to change Raph's sudden demise but he could try to help Joan. Leo's very presence though only reminded Joan of all that she had lost with Raph.

  It had been almost a week since Raph had been buried and Joan had come to the conclusion that there was very little she could do to deter Leo's nightly visits so she put up with him grudgingly.

 A knock at the door warned her he was here YET again. Surprise, surprise will wonders never cease? She thought ruefully to herself as she opened the door to see Leo there. " Hi Leo" she murmured an unenthusiastic greeting.

 Leo came in wincing at Joan's haggard look the last time he had seen her look half this bad was when she had been framed for Master Jerint's murder. ( A/N That story is in Honor's Name)

 " How are you doing Joan?" he asked gently.

 " I don't know about the same Leo. It is just so hard to accept that he is gone now just like that. I know he is dead and that I will never see or hear or feel him again. I miss him the most at nighttime. This was our time together. We'd put the kids to bed and we would go for a long walk or give each other massages by the fire place just relaxing before calling it a night."

 " I know it is hard enough for me to accept that he is gone so I know it has to be that much harder on you and Kayla and Jerint." Leo admitted as he sat down in the living room by Joan's side, " You did more for him than any one ever could including Splinter."

 " He did a lot for me too Leo. Meanwhile Laura is going drive herself insane trying to figure out what killed Raph it is too late to help Raph but she might need to know for future reference if any of you boys or even the children run into multiple Teji insect bites" Joan's voice was harsh and bitter sounding.

 Leo sighed " How are the children now?"

 " Jerint I think is finally starting to accept that his father isn't going to be coming home and that he won't see him again. Kayla on the other hand well, ever since the funeral she keeps insisting that Raph WILL come home because Leon has seen it. And Leon is never wrong so her father must be alive and we buried someone else." Joan remarked sharply.

 " I'll talk to Leon this time I think his vision is skewed. I don't think he fully understands the…"

 " And what is there to understand Leo?" Joan hissed suddenly cutting him off " That Domoskan is gone now FOREVER. How does one even begin to understand something like that?  The children need me right now I am going give up my Mastership let someone else run that damned cursed school."

 " Joan No you can't mean that. You just need some more time. You shouldn't go doing any thing rash right now" Leo pleaded hardly believing what Joan was saying.

 " No Leo there is nothing to think about here. I'm finished with all of it. For a whole year Raph was after me to stay at home and be his wife and a mother and to not work myself so hard. I was too busy to make time for them and now he is gone. Kayla and Jerint need me at home and I have to do what is right for them."

 " I understand that Joan honestly I do but you DON'T have to give up the school."

 " Leo I have thought this out and you best go home to Flo I'm not fit to be with at the moment."

 " Joan you…"

 " Leo don't make me throw your shell out of here. Just get the hell out and leave me ALONE please!" Joan snapped at him.

 Leo sighed heavily he knew Joan was fully capable of tossing him out on his shell she done it enough times in practice to prove it. He didn't really want to leave however because he hated to see Joan like this, he wanted to comfort her to ease her pain to give her some hope or something to hold to now in these difficult times. He could not deny that he felt for her, he always had but he knew Joan would have none of it. He did not know what to say words meant little to her at this moment and though he pushed it by staying a bit longer in hopes of convincing her to hold to her Mastership at the very least she was having none of it.

 Her mind was made up and finally reluctantly Leo left before Joan really did throw him out. He knew why she felt she had to give up the school she felt that the children ought to take priority and that was all well and good but Leo couldn't help feeling that Joan was making a mistake.

 In desperation he sought Master Splinter's advice when he returned home hoping that perhaps Splinter might convince Joan where he had failed. 

 " What can you expect Leonardo? It is Joan's right to give up the school and what sort of Master would she be if she stayed on growing to resent all the school might now stand for? She is very young and very troubled at the moment and she does have the children's welfare as well as her own to consider.

 The other Grand Masters have already spoken with me about the possibility of me taking over the school in Joan's place so that if she changes her mind later and does decide to go back to being the Master of the school it will be easy enough for her to take over. Also Joan and the children could stay in the Grand Master home causing less up heaval for the young ones in this all right upsetting time for them. The other Grand Masters have told Joan to take a bit more time to consider things through before they will permit her to resign and I have told them that I would be willing to run the school for a time.

 As for you and your brothers Leonardo, you have drifted in mind spirit and body for long enough it is time now to refocus and reunite your spirits by continuing your training."

 Leo sat listening to his Master's words he knew his Sensei was giving him a not so subtle hint that he was expecting Leo as the leader to act on and Leo knew quite well that if HE did not do something about it Splinter WOULD.

 To train without Raph seemed…. unnatural. Impossible even.

 " Yes Master Splinter" Leo replied as he stood and bowed before leaving his Master's room. He sighed wearily and with a great deal of resignation. He glanced around not feeling like joining the rest of his family he headed downstairs to the small dojo that was in the basement of his home.

 He wandered over and picked up a spare set of sais and he did a couple of katas with them before placing the weapons back " Oh gods Raph. Why did you have to die now?" he asked the air around him he didn't get a reply but he hadn't been expecting any either.

 Leo sank down to the exercise mats and crossed his legs in the lotus position to meditate for a while. His mind lately had not been conductive towards meditation. Too much turmoil and negative feelings but he hoped that he could at least meditate a little now if only to help relax him and maybe, just maybe provide some answers that had been eluding him since Raph's death.

 If it worked the meditation would relax him and free his mind and spirit. He took a few calming breaths concentrated and relaxed. In what seemed a matter of mere minutes he found his astral form in a meadow far off to the North was a bright white light. It was peaceful and calming and Leo felt for the first time in a long while at peace and fully relaxed.

 " It's about time you got here" A voice filled with scorn and sarcasm came from behind him. A voice that Leo recognized he didn't have to turn to confirm that it WAS him but he turned any ways and he saw exactly what he thought he would Raph standing and staring off towards the bright light a bit of a cocky grin on his face.

 Raph turned back to stare at Leo " Joanie has forgotten everything Splinter and Master Jerint have taught her and now she wants to go and give up the school. Don't let her do it Leo."

 " I tried Raph she won't listen to me and Splinter feels it is her right!"

 " I know Damn it! If only I could talk to her she would listen to ME! Why won't she snap out of this funk of hers it isn't doing her a bit of good just giving her stupid ideas. Hell she isn't even meditating anymore if she did at least I could talk to her here but she won't meditate! Damn she can be so stubborn! I got to move on I can't stay here I have to head North to that light something is waiting for me there I'm not sure what but I am not about to go until I know Joan is all right. I can't leave her alone like this."

 Leo tried to suppress a smile even in death Raph cared more about Joan then he did about himself

 " Why the North Raph? Why can't you stay here?"

 " The light Leo it calls to me it pulls at me. Each day it gets stronger and I fight it watching Joan tear herself apart over me being gone. I have a feeling if I do go into the light that it won't matter, Joan won't matter, nothing will matter once I go into the light I feel that Leo. So I just stay here hoping that Joan would come to her senses and wishing I could get through to her."

  " Is there anything I can do to help?" Leo asked.

 Raph nodded " Yeah there is one of two ways Leo. First one would be difficult but it might end up working the best out of the two. First one is you can allow me to posses your body. During that time you will be able to communicate with me but I will be in control of your body. You will literally be taking a backseat in your own body. That way I'll be able to talk to Joan and I CAN convince her it is ME. You might suffer some nausea and some disorientation at first but soon as I go to sleep your body will naturally reject me, like nothing new there eh Leo? and I'll be forced to leave. The other way is just to be there for her. Help her Leo please. Help her and the kids and tell them I do love them all but it isn't worth all the pain and hurt they are putting themselves through."

 Leo scowled " I don't know Raph."

" Think about it for a day or two just don't take too long I don't know how much longer I can avoid the light that is over there. One more thing Leo, if you do let me possess your body it will be the first and only time I won't be jealous of you hanging around my wife. I know you still care about her Leo, you wouldn't be trying to help her out if you didn't."

 " All right Raph. Tomorrow morning I'll be able to give you a decision."

 " I'll be here waiting for you Leo and thanks."

TBC


	3. To Help A Brother

                               Death's Dominion

Disclaimer: I deny any ownership to any adolescent transformed shadow warrior chelonians and their rodent Master.

 Chapter Two – To Help A Brother

  By the next morning Leo had made his decision but he knew before he carried through with it there was a few other things that he would have to take care of first off was to tell Splinter that they would return to lessons at the start of the new week if that was suitable and Splinter accepted it after all it was only two days away. Then he sought out his wife. 

 He found her in the kitchen cleaning up the breakfast dishes and he picked up a towel to help her.

 " Flo I was thinking of heading over to Joan's place, she still isn't doing very good with everything and I just feel that I …I can't leave her like that."

 Flo turned to look at him " You've been spending a lot of time with Joan recently Leo" there was no recriminations in her tone it was simple and it was the fact she knew it and so did he.

 " I know I have Italy" He murmured softly using his 'pet' name for her " it's just I can't see Joan giving up on everything that she fought so hard to obtain. I mean it's bad enough she has lost Raph what will it mean to lose him and the school, which is so much a part of her and her life. I don't think Raph would want Joan giving up her Mastership" He saw something flicker in her eyes and sensed what Flo had not said " I care for her yes Italy I can't deny that and I won't but you do know you are far more important to me. I won't do anything to harm you or my family in any way. You have to trust me Flo," he pleaded gently.

 " I do trust you Leona" Flo gave a small wistful smile " But I also know that you loved Joan in your own way and with Raph's death your feelings towards Joan might be a little confused at the moment. Do what you think is right for you Leo" she reached out and touched his hand staring into his eyes and Leo met her gaze.

 He squeezed her hand slightly " I can't stand by and watch her hurt and throw away all of this without trying to do something for Joan ."

  " I don't mind you trying to get through to Joan I admit I hate seeing her like this myself but none of us have been able to reach her and it just might take her more time to accept things and move on I mean it is a lot to get use to in such a short time. However Leo I don't want you blaming yourself and feeling guilty if you aren't able to achieve what you are hoping to."

 Leo grinned as he looked at Flo " Would I do that?" he teased lightly.

 " You know it!" Flo replied.

 " I promise I'll see you tonight Italy." Leo stated simply Flo just nodded acceptance of his choice.

 Leo slipped out of the kitchen and went downstairs to meditate feeling slightly guilty for not telling the whole truth to Flo but how could he explain that for Joan's sake the best thing he could do to help her was to let Raph's spirit use his body. It sounded strange and crazy even to him so how could he ever explain it to someone else in a way that they could believe it. He wasn't even sure if he believed it. He sighed as he sat down on the mats to meditate.

 Once again he reached the grassy meadow and the light from the North seemed more intense then it had the first time he had been there. Raph was pacing back and forth his whole body resisting for every two steps he took toward the light he would force himself to turn and go back three or four before turning again toward it. He was fighting it hard.

 " Raph?"

 Raph turned and blinked as if surprised to see Leo there " Only morning just now seems later then that to me. Times are real different here Leo. I can't resist it much longer" Raph's gaze was locked on the light and Leo wondered how Raph could stand to look at it. Probably had to do with him being dead and suppose to be there.

 " Raph are you sure about this whole possession thing?"

 " Yeah it's something I sort of picked up when I got here. You know the rules of possession and one free charge card to limit possessions" Raph joked sounding far more like his old physical self.

 " I just wanted to make sure you knew what you were doing. I'm not sure that I know. Anyway I'm free for the day so you can have all day with Joan."

 Raph smiled " Thanks Leo. You're all right bro. Your astral self better sit down because I really don't know how this is going to affect you Leo."

 Leo sat down and waited suddenly he felt violently cold all over and he started to shiver, he felt his stomach heave and he opened his eyes but everything seemed to be spinning around him and the ground seemed to tilt under him as he quickly broke off meditation and headed for the nearest bathroom.

 He slowly started to feel more normal after he wiped at his face with a cold cloth and he poured himself a glass of water then he looked up in the bathroom mirror over the sink and was startled. That wasn't really his face staring back at him his eyes had never been that hard.

*Relax Leo it is me. Man that was rough on me even and I know it was no walk in the park for you either bro. Sorry about that didn't think it would be that bad. Damn good thing we are ninja trained huh? Shall we get comfy Leo* ( A/N I use* when Raph and Leo communicate as they are now in the same body.)

* What are you talking about Raph? * His own voice seemed distant to him as he realized all of a sudden that what Raph had said before about him having no control over his own body was quite true. He tried to move his fingers and received no response. He was able to communicate with Raph through thought alone but it was clear to Leo that from now until Raph decided to go to sleep that he would be along for the ride alone. 

 Raph had already headed back into the practice room * Well for one thing Leo I'm NOT keeping the blasted katanas on me. It just doesn't feel right with them strapped to my back. * Raph informed his brother as he switched the two swords for a pair of sais, which he twirled in his hand, or more correctly Leo's hand before placing them in his belt.       * Got any red masks kicking around? *

*NO! Don't go to far that way Raph*

*All right all ready geez your touchy today Leo*

 Leo would have shook his head if he could have but once again he tried and couldn't  * Just go see Joan your wasting time*

* I will Leo but after being dead for a week or so I got to make myself presentable you know. I can't have Joan dying of a heart attack when she sees me again. If she died our kids would be poor little orphans and who would care for the waifs then? * Raph asked before sneaking out of Leo's house and heading towards home. When he didn't find Joan or the kids in the house he went outside to the barn where Joan was brushing the Ramda.

  Dapples snorted and jerked his head back as Raph came forward " What's a matter with you stupid?" Raph wondered as he looked at the beast.

 " Leo is that you your as bad as Raph giving Daps a bad time like that" Joan's voice called from near the hindquarters of the animal.

 Raph felt his old feelings for Joan rise up inside of him Damn but she could still do it to him. Just seeing her hearing her sweet low voice was enough to get him thinking wild thoughts about her. Ah such a pity I'm here for business and not pleasure he thought to himself and heard Leo snigger at that thought. " Mmm Joanie can I talk to you?"

 " Only if you don't go calling me Joanie." She replied as she stood up and walked to the door of the stall taking her first look at him. Something wasn't quite right about Leo she couldn't quite place what it was but she knew that there was …a feeling of something being out of place " You… You've changed somehow Leo and for the life of me I can't figure out where or what."

 " Uh, how to tell you this Joan. I'm not really Leo at the moment."

 " Then who do you THINK you are if not Leo?" Joan asked her eyes narrowing.

 Raph shrugged " Who do you think I am?" He asked in return.

 Joan shook her head bit at her bottom lip uncertain " I don't know. I am not in the mood to play games Leo."

 " Joanie, my angel love. Moskan ilk nej lem nokador ist nimkhan."

 Joan trembled as he spoke those words she knew exactly what they meant. It was old terrapin a language spoken only by the Masters of terrapin a much harder version then the basic Terrapin language. Raph had convinced her to teach him both basic and old Terrapin and he had said those very same words on their anniversary nokador was worthless and she had laughed at Raph's slip of the tongue telling him he meant to use nokiador instead. " What does Liralen mean to you Leo?"

 " To Leo it is only a terrapin name, he never knew what it meant but because I am in his body he will learn it today. To me it meant Heart's Life and you always called me Domoskan Peaceful warrior. I don't know why you chose that one for me I never really felt that it suited me all that much." Raph replied.

 Joan backed up shaking her head " No…it can't. How?"

 Raph held up his hands " Easy Joan. Don't go falling apart on me. Let me explain at least.

 I tried to talk to you to reach you, but you didn't seem to want to feel or hear me when I was near you and I could only do so much. You weren't even meditating. Splinter meditated but he wouldn't pay attention to me he just sort of shut me out guess I was too much for him to deal with. So tell me what was I suppose to do Liralen? I couldn't go where I was suppose to not when I saw you like THIS. Leo was the first to meditate and talk to me and he agreed to let me use his body so I could come and be with you for a bit today. So where are Kayla and Jerint at the moment?"

 " They went to visit Mary Anne but what about Leo where is he if you are…?" Joan was perplexed and wasn't about to hide it. ( A/N Mary Anne is Mike and Beth's daughter.)

 " Leo is still here Joan we can talk to one another but uh how to put this. He sort of is asleep in a way in his own body. He is aware of what I'm doing and saying and he is throwing in his two cents worth but basically he sort of is here and not at the same time. When I go to sleep Leo will return to normal or whatever passes for normal for Leo at any rate."

 Joan suddenly started to cry and that was too much for Raph he entered Dapple's stall and went to take Joan into his arms " Ssh Joanie, don't cry please hon. I know it has been a rough week but I'm here for you now" He brushed a kiss across her cheek and wiped her eyes with one gentle hand " Come on we need to talk about some things and we might as well walk along the beach while we do it" Raph laid one arm over her shoulders as he guided her out of the stall locking the ramda in before leaving the barn.

 " Why did you make me leave you Raph?"

 " Truthfully I was out of it Joan I didn't want you seeing me like that. I think I knew it was coming in spite of everything I was doing to avoid it. I was hurting and I didn't really even know that it was you there. I know Laura did all she could, all she knew how to do so I don't blame her for what happened it was just fickle fate I guess. 

 As for you my Liralen, you have got to move on all this crying and what have you isn't going bring me back you know and it isn't doing the kids any good seeing you like this. I know you have to grieve but you also have to move on girl. I want you and the kids to be happy. I'll never really be away from you. We are a part of each other Joan, time and distance alone won't separate us. And I WILL NOT have you turning your back on everything that matters to you."

 " Things are just too mixed up with out you Raph" Joan chocked out.

 " No it just seems that way because you're hurting so much and not trying to get past the pain. I need you to move on. You have always been very strong and you gave me so much taught me so much. You were the one who taught me not to face my problems or fears alone but now you want to do it. It isn't worth it trust me on that."

 " All right Raph." She sniffed a bit and Raph pulled her closer to him with one arm as they walked feeling the warmth of her body up against his. " Now what is this I hear about you giving up your Mastership?" he asked quickly for fear of being distracted. She could distract him so easily.

 " Don't solve all of my problems at once" Joan chided.

 " I don't have much choice Joan one day is all I have to give to you." Raph retorted softly.

 " I don't want Kayla and Jerint to be deprived of both of us and the school takes so much of my time from family."

 " Tell me about it" Raph grunted " So what do you plan on doing then? Are you just going to stay at home and be a mom? Somehow I can't quite picture that at least not for the REST of your life."

 " I was thinking about going into fostering children."

 " Ahh ha more kids huh? You do love them and they do love you too. Fostering would even give you a house so Kayla ability to get around won't be hampered."

 " Exactly apartments are not meant for those in wheelchairs."

 "True enough but Joan have you considered that Kayla may have problems with any foster children? You know how most Terrapins treat her. No full terrapin will accept Kayla even for a friend and you think Terrapins and her will be able to get along under the same roof? When the terrapin kids start to pick on Kayla in her own home she will fight back. She does have my temper and Kayla I assure you won't put up with being picked on in her own home forever. She might take a bit but not a whole lot. Then who will you blame Joan? The Terrapin child who caused the problem? Or Kayla when she blows up? It is Kayla's home. You are HER mother. You want to uproot her to a new home bring in strangers into her house that will end up causing all kinds of problems and you want her to be okay with all of that? Trust me Joan you staying the Grand Master will be a lot less traumatic and upsetting for her. After all it is all those two kids have known.

 Take advantage of Splinter he is your assistant for a reason you know. Leo just said he'd even help out at the school to give you more time with the kids. So you see you will have more time for the children and the school will be in good hands. When you're at work the rest of the family can look out for the kids. It's perfect."

* Why didn't I think of all that? *

* I have had far more practice at dealing with the way Joan thinks and how to convince her of things Leo*

  " I thought I would have to give up Mastership for the children's sake" Joan mumbled.

 " You enjoy it don't you?" Raph asked suddenly uncertain.

 " Of course I do you know I do."

 " Then stick with it we fought hard to get you there don't throw it away on us."

 " But Raph you were the one who wanted me at home more often."

 "Sure I did but I didn't mean on a full time basis Joan. It is like going out on a Survival trip it is fun, relaxing but I wouldn't want to stay away from civilization and my family forever. You have to find the balance somewhere you know? I wanted more time for us to be together Joan. I'm proud of you honest and I don't want you forgetting that."

 Joan smiled at his reference to Survival it seemed so strange to see Raph's mannerisms and ways in Leo's body. She commented on that. 

Causing him to laugh out loud. Joan stopped and caressed his cheek with her hand " Do you think the kids will be all right Raph?"

 " Sure they will be fine once they see that things have settled down and are returning to the way they are use to seeing it they will start to accept as well. Now is there any thing else that is bugging you?"

 Joan shook her head no.

 " Good. I have had enough of treating problems I want to spend some time with you today before I go and when I do leave tonight Joan I want you to keep in mind only how much I love you."

 He bent and kissed her wrapping his arms around her middle and she flung her arms around his neck pulling him close to her as she returned his kiss eagerly. Raph hugged her tight to him before releasing her and running toward the water " Race ya!" he yelled.

 Joan chuckled just like Raph to challenge her after a head start Leo wouldn't do that she thought ruefully as she chased after him hitting the water a few seconds behind him. 

 They spent the next few hours splashing and dunking each other as they swam around, wild water battles of pulling one another under and wrestling about in the water as they swam. Things they had done numerous times before and with each move of Leo's body only confirming that it was truly Raph in there. There were just far too many similarities to put it down to coincidence alone. They played and roughhoused their laughter rising up and mingling together.

  " I'm starved" Raph finally announced.

 " No wonder when was the last time you ate? You must have built up an appetite while you were gone?" Joan teased. 

 " Oh yeah I got an appetite all right" Raph leered licking his lips as he stared at her.

 " For food Domoskan. Do you have any money?" She inquired of him.

 " Yeah Leo said I could use what he has in his belt if it isn't waterlogged by now that is." 

 They headed to shore and to a small café where they ordered deep fried fish with a sweet and sour dipping sauce to nibble on when that didn't fill them up Raph ducked into a bakery and bought a sampling of various gooey sweet concoctions to finish off with.

 " We are going be so sick if we eat all that" Joan cautioned him.

 " You think! Oh well can't always eat healthy besides you only live once" Raph declared. 

 Raph and Joan managed to polish off the sweets and Raph licked the last crumbs of food off his fingers.

 Joan reached up and kissed him suddenly and he relaxed returning the kiss when he was pulled roughly away from Joan. 

" Just what the HELL do you think you are doing Leo?' Mike demanded as he inserted himself between his brother and Joan " You happen to have your own wife and kids back home so stop playing on Joan's emotions" Mike crossed his arms over his plastron glowering at Leo.

 " Mike I am NOT doing anything wrong here."

 " Right I don't know what makes you think that Leo. She is Raph's wife not yours and if Raph only knew what you were doing he'd be rolling around in his grave. You are spending far too much time with Joan when you ought to be with your own family, and your coming on to her as well and you have the nerve to tell me you are not doing anything wrong?"

 Joan interrupted Mike " Mike please, I wouldn't allow Leo and he isn't taking advantage of me in any way. Leo isn't like THAT. This isn't what it seems to be trust me on this okay. Leo is just being a good friend nothing more honest."

 Mike scowled giving first Joan then his brother a skeptical look " Well any more than that and I'll clobber you Leo."

 " Fine. You can get your first chance at me the day after tomorrow bright and early. It is time we got back to our lessons" Raph retorted passing on Leo's message.

 " All of our practicing never helped Raph" Mike protested.

 " No but there was nothing Raph could have done to prevent that either besides we still have an agreement with Splinter what is done is done Mikey."

 " I'll think about it Leo" Mike said scornfully before turning and walking away.

 Joan watched him go " He didn't know or didn't see and yet your stance. Your whole body posture is pure Raphael."

 " Yeah well Mikey only notices what he wants to besides I think he was too upset at Leo kissing you. I probably could have proved it to him if I wanted to but I am not even supposed to be here and it is only for one day after all. I just never thought I would see the day that Mike would tell Leo off."

 " He is your best friend he just wants to look out for your interest is all."

 " Yeah but Joan Mike can't keep chasing other guys off of you just because you were my wife I mean…"

 " Don't say it! Don't even think it Domoskan. Maybe one day but not now. Mike knows Leo is married and he just wants to remind Leo of his responsibilities. He also knows what happened when we were first married and Leo tried to break us up."

 " Funny Mike reminding Leo of his priorities" Raph smiled wondering if he really ought to convince Joan to go out and not limit herself.

 She was young and beautiful by anyone's standards and any Terrapin male would consider himself lucky to have someone like her for a mate even though Joan could no longer have children. Still he knew Joan would need time to come to that conclusion on her own and there was no need to push her into it before she felt ready. He looked down into her green eyes " So where were we?"

 " I think right about here," Joan whispered as she drew near and kissed him again.

 When she finally broke off the kiss he had to ask, " You really wouldn't LET Leo Liralen?"

 " Oh come off it Raph. Leo is happy with Flo and his own family now. He wouldn't hurt his family like that and you of all people ought to know that. Remember when he tried to break us up Flo and him were ONLY friends. Leo is only a friend to me. Yes he is a friend who cares a great deal for me but he is no more than that. YOU were the one who was so afraid that Leo would keep trying to get me back that you didn't seem to realize that Leo had let things go between us."

 " A part of me was aware of that but another part was so sure that Leo would try again and that next time he might just achieve it" Raph admitted.

  " So what changed your mind about that Raph?" Joan wondered.

 " I don't know. I'm not really sure. Maybe a part of me realized that only after seeing how hard Leo was trying to help you but he wasn't quite sure of what to say or do to get through to you. Leo knew that you needed to keep the school for the balance it would provide you and he is right about that. You need that balance even more now. Leo just figured you were upset over losing me and trying to cut yourself off from anything that might remind you about me. I knew better. I knew you had a reason for why you felt you had to give up the school so it was more trying to figure out what your plans were for after leaving the school and then try and point out that it wasn't the best plan of action Then give you a solution so that you would stay right where you are and RIGHT where you belong. I knew you would have something figured out to have a house and still look after our kids.

 I also have to admit that being in Leo's body I'm more in sync with his thoughts and views then I have ever been before and I know he doesn't think of you like that any more."

 Joan nodded slightly " Leo just wanted someone for himself. He only wanted to insure I was happy with my choice in life and because of that he has been around trying to help me come to grips with you being gone now."

    " I guess you have a point there Liralen or Leo and I both wouldn't be here now."

  Joan hugged him " It is the closest I have ever seen you two" She teased him.

TBC


	4. Last Night

                                         Death's Dominion

Disclaimer: I deny any ownership of any adolescent transformed shadow warrior chelonians and their rodent Master.

Author's Note: Okay this is the chapter that has the dreaded adult situations, which plays such a determining factor on the REST of the story. As I said before it is a little weird when you consider it. But I am weird and strange too sooo what can you expect people?

Chapter Three- Last Night

  They returned home and Joan started to prepare things for dinner Kayla and Jerint were still gone but both Joan and Raph knew the kids were probably busy playing with their cousins and would come home for dinner. Raph started to pull stuff out of the fridge to make a salad while Joan chopped up the vegetables for the evening meal.

 " So do we tell the children about you or?"

 " I'd like to Joan I really would. I mean there are things I wouldn't mind saying to them but the thing is I think it would be just more upsetting in the long run and harder for them to adjust to after I go anyways so, I think it would be wiser to not let on about me and I'll just be Uncle Leo for now. I also better contact Flo and let her know that Leo isn't coming home for dinner tonight and he might be a bit later coming home then she might be expecting." Raph didn't want to chance going to Leo's while Flo was awake he didn't want to EVEN think about such a thing. He hauled out his communicator and contacted Flo he apologized to her " Uh sorry Flo but I'm going be later then I first thought Joan and I still want to talk about a few things and I'd rather get it all done now so I can start spending more time with you. I'll be home later tonight."

 Before Flo could respond Joan interjected " Flo I'm real sorry about all of this I know I have been monopolizing all of Leo's time and taking him away from you but he has been helping me a great deal and actually I'm starting to feel better then I have felt for some time now and Leo is to thank for all of it and there is a few more things I'd just want to get out and over with once and for all but I don't want to do it when the kids might overhear you know how it is. I hope you don't mind Flo."

 " No I don't mind because you are starting to sound more like the little sister I grew up with and if Leo has managed to do that for you with his stubborn persistence then all the time he has spent with you is worth it and I won't complain. Just send him home to me whenever you two feel you have covered all that you needed to."

 " Thanks Flo you can count on it" Joan agreed.

 " I'll see you later tonight Italy" Raph murmured before clicking off the communicator.

    Kayla and Jerint had spent the night playing board games with their mom and uncle Leo before they were sent to bed. Joan and Raph were now relaxing talking softly about many different subjects, reminiscing for the sake of it and just enjoying each other's company. Joan had a bottle of wine out that they were sharing between them and Raph often stopped to touch her or kiss her. He knew he ought to get Leo home to his own family but he couldn't bring himself to leave Joan just yet. It was all ready quite late at night so Flo he knew ought to be sleeping but still he lingered.

 Joan smiled as she got up and he reached for her " Where are you going get back here Liralen" Raph pleaded.

 Joan went over and put on some music a mixture of earth and Terrapin love songs.

 " Dance with me Domoskan" she held her arms out as she stood waiting for him.

 Raph grimaced at the thought he would rather do other things " You KNOW how I feel about dancing Liralen. I hate it there are few things that I hate more than dancing."

 He saw her eyes turn pleading but before she could speak he shushed her gently.

 " This time I WILL however make an exception but ONLY just this once." He teased her as he stood and took her into his arms.

 Joan reached up kissing him and her tongue probed into his mouth and Raph trembled slightly as he began to sway with her in time to the music feeling the press of her body close to him woke so much inside of him.

 When he had been dead there had been no sensation, no feelings, no nothing. The only feeling he had, had come from watching Joan grow more upset and wanting to help her and the desire to head to the light. 

 Now he was bombarded with these feelings of desire, of aching longing a need for something more that he knew he couldn't allow and it hurt because he wanted it so badly and he sensed that she also wanted him again.

 Joan began to sing in time with the music that was playing and her voice was sweet and yet touched with sorrow as she sang.

  Kayla woke in a cold sweat from a bad dream; the stillness of everything told her it was late at night still. She found her thoughts turning towards her father but she closed off those thoughts quickly thinking of dad only made her cry. It was strange having her mom home so much and the school being closed and her mother had been very upset ever since Dad had died. 

 Tonight though Uncle Leo had managed somehow to get her mom to smile and to laugh and mom had seemed almost like she use to be when her father was at home. Maybe now that her mom was starting to feel better she could talk to her mom about some things that she needed to know.

  She knew it would mean dragging herself upstairs to her mom's bedroom but she felt that it was important and her mom wouldn't mind if Kayla woke her up.

 So she resolutely crawled out of the bed and settled herself in the wheelchair it would be hard enough going up the stairs to her mom's room she might as well use the chair as far as it could take her.

  As she opened her bedroom door she thought she heard music playing very softly. Strange? Was her mom still awake? Possible, even better Kayla thought to herself.

  As she neared the corner of the hallway she stopped and peeked around the edge of the wall into the living room.

  She gaped in shock to see her mom and Uncle Leo kissing each other in a way that even Kayla knew wasn't quite right.

 " Domoskan, I…"

 " Ssh Liralen I love you so much, gods this is so much harder then I first expected it to be."

 Domoskan? Wait a second that was what her mom had always called her father so what was she doing calling Uncle Leo by that name? And Liralen was her dad's name for her mom so why was Leo calling her mom that now? 

 Kayla did not like the strange feeling that stirred in her and she didn't want to look or hear anymore for already what she saw was stirring up strange quick images of entwined bodies. And other things she didn't quite understand or grasp. Yet at the same time she couldn't pull back either and both of the adults didn't even seem to know she was there seeing them.

  " Liralen I gotta go."

 " No Domoskan please stay just a little longer. Don't leave me just yet."

 " Liralen love it isn't going to get any easier."

 Joan silenced his weak protest with another long intense kiss and thrusting her body up tight against his.

  Kayla shook the images in her mind were getting to be far too much for her and something both powerful and dark was rising fast from somewhere inside of her. Kayla withdrew back to her room feeling the flood of the images as they overwhelmed her.

   Both Joan and Raph had been oblivious to Kayla's presence both were feeling to strongly for the other to have detected her watching them.

  Joan broke off the kiss and started to sing again to the next song that was playing

 " All my love my darling I hunger for your touch, I need your love." she whispered her warm breath up against neck. " Time goes by so slowly yet time can do so much …"

Had truer words ever been spoken Raph had to wonder. " I need your love god speed your love to me." Joan's lips locked on his and he felt the longing in them that echoed the songs very words.

* I want to so much but I can't Leo. *

* Why not Raph?*

* It still happens to be your body Leo besides what about Flo?*

* I gave you this chance so that you would have time with her to say what you needed to say. To do what you felt you needed to do. Listen I'll explain to Flo later I'm sure Joan will back me up on this and I …Listen Raph I think Joan would appreciate one last night with her of loving her, it will be something she can hold to when you are gone. It would mean a lot to her*

 Raph sighed softly he could not deny what he was feeling any longer and Leo's soft assurances only convinced him that there was no need to keep fighting this feeling he tenderly cupped Joan's face in his hands as the music clicked off he kissed her once more tasting the sweetness which he had always identified with her in his life " Liralen it would seem that my honor is yours tonight at Leo's request."

 She hugged him close to her at those words and placed her arms tight around his neck as he stooped and picked her up carrying her towards their old bedroom.

  Kayla sat in her bedroom in her chair. She grabbed a pillow off her bed and punched it hard that did nothing to ease the anger she felt inside of her she wanted to break something, to tear something apart there was just too much going on that she could not begin to fathom. What she did understand was enough for the anger inside of her build into a wild fire. She knew somehow that her mom and Uncle Leo were doing something that they should not be doing. She knew too, for the images that had come to her had told her as much, that Uncle Leo and her mom had once cared about each other a great deal she had seen images of them sharing kisses and stuff from before she was married to dad. This was different from those images. Different and yet something very oddly similar as well as if there was indeed some connection between the two that she was missing. 

   What she had seen tonight was deeper then those images of the past as if it was a whole new level and Kayla didn't know what it could mean for them or for Leon and his family.

 She sensed that what was going on between her mom and Uncle Leo was wrong very wrong and that big trouble could come of it. She didn't have to see the future the way Leon did to know that she felt it.

 What disturbed her the most though was the feeling the very sense that somehow her mother had never really cared for her father and now that her dad was gone… Kayla didn't want to think about it but somehow her mind kept returning to it and coming up with more questions and uncertainties. All of which only added to the rage inside of her.

  Joan rolled over still half asleep she reached out to the other side of the bed " Mornin' Domoskan" She murmured sleepily but when she felt no warm body on the other side of the bed she came fully awake and realized that he was gone for good this time. A new wave of grief surged up inside her but she was able to push it back down just by thinking of what he had done for her last night. 

 He had never been so gentle or thorough as he had been then. Afterwards she fell asleep cradled in his arms as he murmured sweet tender endearments to her. She had felt comforted, safe, protected and very much loved by him. He was gone now and while it hurt she knew at least that she could at least manage without him. Yes she had to admit even to herself that it wasn't going to be easy at first but she was a fighter and she knew in her heart that this was what Raph wanted from her.

 She sat up and noticed the sheet of paper on Raph's side of the bed and she picked it up recognizing the handwriting as Raph's not Leo's she knew both of their handwriting well enough. Leo's was small and neat Raph was neat and had a more flowing movement in forming his letters with writing so there were plenty of fancy loops and swirls which Leo would NEVER have. Leo would consider it as being messy.

 Liralen,

   You always gave me so much more than I ever seemed to give to you. Thank you my sweet Liralen, for I have never enjoyed you more, nor I think have you ever enjoyed me so much either.

 Your happiness and the children's means so much to me and I will always be a part of you and in a way be with you. Our children especially Kayla and her wild temper ought to keep me close to you. I know you could handle my temper so I have no doubts you will be able to tame her down, though she will be a handful.

 I know you don't want to consider this right now Joan and you don't have to but try to understand that if you should find someone special that you care for a great deal no matter how far away in the future that might be, and you decide that you want to spend your life with that person I won't hold it against you. After all you are young and have a long life ahead of you and you shouldn't deny yourself happiness so please know that I do give you my blessing.

 Now that I know you will be all right I can go on to where I should have long before.

 Though lovers be lost, love will not and death will have no dominion over us for our love is everlasting.

 So be happy my Liralen.

   All My Love

               Domoskan.

 Joan felt a tear fall and she wiped it away with the back of her hand " Raph I miss you so much. I am so glad that you did come back and we had yesterday together somehow I am going have to find a way to thank Leo for all he did for both of us." Joan spoke to the air around her before getting up to go and shower.

  By the time she came down stairs to the kitchen Kayla was already there waiting for her a dark look on her face " Morning Kayla you are up awfully early what is wrong with you today?"

 ( A/N since Kayla can't speak when she uses her computer I will consider it her           " voice" and if she is using sign language it will be between . Hope that will keep things clear.)

 " Yeah something wrong all right! You don't love dad, you never did" Kayla's voice computer responded Kayla typing in the necessary buttons to add a sarcastic tinge to the words.

 " What makes you think that Kayla I loved your father dearly."

 " Sure that explains why you were messing around with Uncle Leo last night."

 " Oh Kayla… You don't understand that wasn't Leo last night." Joan protested.

 " He sure looked like Uncle Leo to ME! You had no RIGHT to do what you did. I think I know what you did. You THINK that I would NEVER learn? If you cared for dad you wouldn't have done it. YOU shouldn't have let him. He has a family and so do you mom or have you forgotten that!"

 " KAYLA I am not going stand here and be accused by you when you don't even know the full story."

 " I think I know more than enough mom, more than I want to know even. I… I can't stay here. I don't like you. I hate you and I hate uncle Leo. I hate what you did with him and I hate how you are lying to me about what you feel for dad!"

 " Kayla…" Joan snapped sharply at her daughter.

 Kayla turned her chair around and typed out one last reply as she made for the closest exit " Fuck you of course you all ready did that didn't you?  Good riddance!"

 Kayla ignored her mother's calls to come back as she sped her chair out to the barn.  Quickly she grabbed Dapples bridal and placed it onto the Ramda . She got Dapples to kneel so she could mount from her chair. Her mom was just entering the barn and Kayla gave a dark look at her mother before kicking Dapples hard making the ramda leap forward causing her mom to dive out of her way or get run over by her pet.

 Dad, I wish you were home, she thought as she sped Dapples towards Leon's place she was hoping to see her best friend without having to see Leo. She didn't want to see Uncle Leo anymore than she wanted to see her own mother at this moment. She had to risk seeing Leo though because it would be the only way to see Leon, and he was the one she desperately needed to see and talk to at this moment.

 Leon was waiting outside in spite of the early hour as if he had been expecting her to come knowing Leon that was a possibility.

 " Great Kayla how did you know I was coming to see YOU? Oh well this saves us time anyway so I'm glad you're here we have to go."

  Go? Where are we to go Leon?

 " We have to go to the pool of time Brashawn is waiting there for us he needs us for something of importance I'm not sure what. I'll tell you how to reach the pool" Leon replied as he jumped on Dapples back with practiced ease " Don't worry I left a note for mom and dad that we were going on a picnic together so they won't worry."

 Kayla only nodded her talk with Leon would have to wait this sounded like it would have to come first whatever it was. 

 She knew enough to know that Brashawn was a turtle spirit who seemed to be the guardian of a pool of water, which was capable of showing ANYONE the future or the past. The pool she knew was well hid but Leon had found his way there once before and sometimes she even knew where it was. She had no idea what Brashawn would want with both of them but if he did want them it must be for something VERY serious so she didn't question Leon and she was willing to hold off their talk for now.

TBC


	5. The Pool of Time

                                        Death's Dominion

Disclaimer: I deny any ownership to any adolescent transformed shadow warrior chelonians and their rodent Master.

 Author's Note: Oops! I am so bad forgot to mention the song I used in the last chapter was Unchained Melody and it has been done by various artist through the years so I don't know who originally did it but it is NOT mine that I know.

Chapter 4- The Pool of Time.

Kayla tried to figure out what Brashawn would need with them in the first place as she guided Dapples along. Brashawn at one time had visions of the future himself, just as Leon did now; he had been a great leader and teacher to many Terrapins through difficult times. Now in death his sole purpose was to keep the pool of time hidden from Terrapins. Kayla wasn't sure how Brashawn achieved this she only knew that the pool of time appeared and disappeared at will in various places around Terrapin perhaps it had to do with the pool itself. After all it was the pool, which had the power to show future or past visions. It was all very confusing to her and she knew Leon didn't understand it any more than she did. Leon knew that the pool was better hidden though most Terrapins would not know how to handle the visions and various possibilities of their future.

  Kayla steered Dapples into a grove of trees and through a thick patch of bush before they appeared at the pool. Brashawn was waiting for them " About time you kids got here. You are a little late you know. Hopefully it won't matter."

 Brashawn though a spirit seemed quite real having a physical body.

 " How can we be late?" Leon demanded giving the aged turtle a quizzical look.

 " Ah Leon if you could only see more clearly you would realize that your uncle wasn't suppose to die he is needed ahead for something else you know. You have only seen that he is with you in the future right?"

 " Yeah but I don't know how he can be and Dad says that death can't be changed so I have to be wrong." Leon moaned giving a heavy sigh he wasn't sure himself if that vision of his of Raph being with them was truly one of his future visions or only wishful thinking on his part.

 " No there is still a chance to help your Uncle Leon but time is of the essence and we are missing one very important element that will be needed if we are to achieve success."

 " Great! You are starting to sound like my mom or Uncle Don or even worse yet Yoshi" Leon grouched as he slipped off the ramda's back.

 Kayla glanced at Brashawn Afterwards could I see something in the pool of time? she signed.

 " It depends on what you wish to see child there are some things that are best not seen and known."

  It involves something I saw last night between my mom and Uncle Leo. Mom said this morning that it wasn't Uncle Leo with her last night but it WAS I SAW him. Kayla signed looking uneasily at Leon. Uncle Leo called mom by her special name and she called him… Kayla refused to say the rest she wanted to tell Leon and yet she didn't want Leon getting upset now.

 " Why Kayla aren't we lucky you overheard and saw what you did. We MUST make time to check that out for it might be the one important element we are missing. Here Kayla we will need you in the pool itself" Brashawn plucked her off Dapple's back and sat her down in the water.

 Leon stood flabbergasted staring in awe " You understand Kayla's sign language? No one outside the family knows it! Terrapins can't be bothered learning it!"

 Brashawn gazed at Leon " It isn't that difficult to understand her language all one has to do is listen with an open heart and an open mind now please stop your stalling Leon we really don't have a lot of time here."

 Leon sighed again and came to the water's edge sitting down in the pool by Brashawn.

 " All right where are we going this time?" he muttered reluctantly. He didn't care for what his visions showed half the time anyway and as he had worked with Brashawn before he knew that the visions the pool gave him made it worse, A lot worse and harder to deal with so he was reluctant to join in knowing what might come from it.

  Brashawn being the pool's guardian however always seemed to know exactly how to control the visions the pool caused and to bring up the right time and spot that was needed.

 The pool revealed something from the past Leon knew it was the past; it didn't have the feel of the future to it.

 He saw his father meditating and Raph's spirit talking to his dad about possessing Leo's body for a time so he could talk to his wife. Then the following moment when Raph 's spirit had taken over his father's body.

 " Now isn't that interesting?" Brashawn commented casually " Your father Leon does seem capable of holding an alien spirit in his body. Possessions are NEVER easy and many spirits who have possessed another's body often end up driving the host insane and yet your father came to no harm. I wonder if it was due to his ninja training or if it was because Leo did know what was going on. Or perhaps it was both of them either way this is exactly what we could use now.

 You see Kayla it really WAS your father with your mom last night."

  It was dad and he never told us and …now he's gone again. Kayla felt the sudden moment of elation fall quickly she felt worse now then before.

 " Now child don't go fretting just yet. He might not be gone for good but we all must work fast and let us hope that Raphael will be able to return yet. Don't give up hope though I will admit we have a long battle ahead of us. First thing you must do is find Leonardo and get him to meditate. I will meet him and set him on the right path if he is agreeable to helping us. After you talk to Leonardo both of you must return here. Now since time is of the essence I assure you that you have only spent a few seconds here. So hurry now," Brashawn urged as he placed Kayla back on Dapples back and boosted Leon behind her.

 " Go to the art school Kayla dad will be there."  
Kayla nodded in moments she had Dapples in a full out gallop she kept the Ramda at top speed right into town itself hardly slowing the racing beast as she maneuvered it around Terrapins. As they neared the school she pulled the Ramda to a halt causing Dapples to end up sitting on his haunches his sides heaving from the exertion caused by the long run.

 Leon leaped off and Kayla slid off then hoisted herself onto her hands she could walk as fast on her hands as most people could walk and she followed after Leon as quick as she could she wanted to be with her cousin when Leon spoke to his father.

 She followed Leon to a studio door which Leon threw open with a loud bang he raced in yelling " Dad?"

 Leo looked up from where he was working on a painting and scowled at his son " Leon you know that is no way to act in a school. Now what is up?"

 " Uncle Raph wasn't suppose to die but there is a chance to bring him back but you have to meditate and you gotta hurry and…" Leon spat out all in one rushed breath.

 " Hold on slow down Leon. Relax. Now we explained to you that Raph is dead and there is NO way to change that. Raph is gone for good son, we can't bring the dead back to life."

 " You did it yesterday dad. You know you did and you can do it again only this time it will be for good." Leon pleaded with his father.

 Leo shook his head " Listen Leon I don't know how you found out about that but I can't let Raph's spirit use my body every day…"

 " No Raph will have his own body back dad. Just please you have to meditate and Brashawn said he would meet with you and that he would explain everything to you but there isn't much time dad and you have to hurry or we might not be able to get Uncle Raph back." Leon fidgeted uneasily as he tried to explain as calmly as he could about the situation at hand. " Can't you at least try dad won't you at least listen to what Brashawn has to say?"

 Leo blinked unsure of what to say or do he glanced up to see Kayla watching him Please Uncle Leo I do want my dad back. I want him home again and you might be the only one who can do this. 

 Leo sighed how could he refuse her or them both of them were certainly agitated enough and he had learned from previous experience with those two that they usually had a good reason for coming out with odd request. " All right I'll try but I don't want you two getting your hopes up or expecting to much. I am not going promise anything." He declared finally.

 " Thanks Dad. Kayla and I have to get back to the pool. Come on Kayla we still have work to do."

  Good Luck Uncle Leo Kayla signed before flipping herself back on her hands and walking after Leon as fast as she could.

 Leo shook his head ruefully was it just an impossible fantasy? For some children perhaps but he was quite aware of the fact that for those two children things were quite unusual and bizarre at the best of times. So he sat down cross legged on the floor and began to meditate.

 In no time at all he found himself by a large pool of water and an old Terrapin sitting near it the elder Terrapin turned and smiled " Ah Leonardo so good of you. A pleasure to meet you after all this time. I am the original Brashawn and it has most recently come to my attention that you can host an alien spirit in your body."

 " Is that wrong?" Leo wondered unsure on if they had done something they should not have.

 " No there is nothing wrong with it however it can be dangerous at times. Conflicts can arrive in a body when a foreign spirit attempts to take over. The fact that you have done it at least once means you can do it again without harm to yourself.

 Now understand that your brother should never have died and he is still needed for something that is yet to be and I can't say too much about that but rest assured when I tell you his death was not when it should have been and he is still needed alive. You must go after him and TRY to get him to come back but I will warn you he is heading for the light now and if he reaches the light before you can reach him then you MUST let him go and do not follow after him. If he hasn't entered the light try to get him to possess you one more time but do keep in mind if he takes over your body he could take you with him into the light so remind him of what he loves most. That might help keep him earth bound until you get him away from the light. Bring him here at the mid hour of the night."

 Leo considered what had been said there were some very obvious risks to this plan and yet to bring Raph back alive. Was it possible? Could it really be done? What would he give to have his missing brother back as he had been before?

 Leo only knew that he had to risk it all. He was quite willing to risk his own life to try this impossibility because if it could work if it did work it would be worth it all. " I'll do it," he announced without any further hesitation or thought.

 " Very well I will set you on your way. Remember what I told you now. Kayla, Leon and I then must get Raph's body there is no need having his spirit when he has nothing to go into." Suddenly the trees and the pond seemed to vanish and they seemed to be standing in the midst of a blinding light.

 " You sure we aren't in it" Leo muttered trying to avert his gaze.

 " Not yet trust me. He is up ahead good luck to you."

 Leo set off down the path calling for his brother wondering how he would know when to stop from entering the light and where the point was that determined the part of no return.

 Then he saw Raph " Raph wait up bro" Leo called out.

 " Leo? What are you doing here? Every thing is all right now. Joan is going to be okay and I've just about made it."

 " Don't Raph. You were not supposed to die. You are needed with us in the future Raph."

 " Well Leo dead just happens to be forever you know. You can't exactly go back and change it around."

 " For you there might be Raph. Think about it you could be with Joan and you could make sure she doesn't go working herself too hard. Kayla and Jerint could use their father at home too and besides what Terrapin male would take on Joan for a wife with Kayla…"

 " There is NOTHING wrong with Kayla Leo" Raph snapped sharply.

 " I know that and so do you but have you ever tried to convince the Terrapins of that fact? Come on she is a throwback to them a child who should have died. What about Joan think of it Raph you could spend every night with her, loving her. Have you all ready forgotten what it was like to hold her and caress her and the way she called out to you last night. The need the desire you had for her and the need she had for you? Remember her kisses her touch on you."

 Raph trembled he could recall all of that and much more and he did want that but he knew it couldn't happen " It won't change things Leo."

 " You won't know that for sure. Not unless you try. What is one more day away from here Raph that is all you would lose if I'm wrong about this. One day not much at all."

 " You don't understand Leo it isn't that easy."

 " Oh I do understand Raph you are telling me you would rather chicken out and head into the light instead of throwing away one single lousy day in the hopes you could be with Joan for a long time to come."

 " That is NOT true!" Raph snarled vehemently.

 " Then prove it Raph. Prove it for Joan prove it for your family come on and possess my body for one more day or just turn around like the coward you are and walk into the light if that is what you really want you wimp."

 " Fine you win Leo but trust me you will find out that you CAN'T escape death" Raph growled.

 " You just might be the exception to that rule Raph" Leo claimed.

 Kayla and Leon returned to the pool of time and to Brashawn  " So now what do we have to do?" Leon asked.

 " I have just sent your father on his search for Raphael's spirit and you two I need to help me retrieve his body. I can take you two to the right time and place. Kayla as the child of the past will be able to touch her father's body and make it possible for us to hold it. Leon your ability with the future will make it so we can actually return the body to this time and space instead of leaving it in the past. It will be very hard work on both of you but we can do this if you concentrate very hard and we all work together." Brashawn replied.

  What if Uncle Leo wasn't able to get dad's spirit? 

 " We must hope for the best Kayla but in that unfortunate event I will be able to return your father's body without any help. So are you ready to try it?"

 The two kids nodded agreement.

 Brashawn smiled as he placed Kayla back in the pool and once again used his control of the pool to bring up the one vision he was searching for. The day of the funeral the casket open at the moment for those to pay last respects Raph inside lying still. Joan crying Splinter on one side of her Leo on the other supporting her and offering comfort. As the lid started to close Brashawn spoke a strange command and everything became still the lid of the casket froze in spot. Not a sound or any movement anywhere.

 " How cool is that" Leon remarked in awe.

 " Now Kayla" Brashawn nodded to her.

 She reached into the casket and placed her hands on her father's body. It felt strange to her, cold and eerie almost hollow feeling under her fingers. She didn't like the feel of it and wanted to draw back but she forced her hands to stay where they were afraid that if she did draw back that she would not be able to make herself touch the shell of what housed her father's spirit.

 Brashawn saw her wince and grimace so he offered some gentle reassurances as he wrapped an arm around Kayla placing his hand on top of hers and using his other arm to lift up on Raph's body. " Now Leon place your hands over mine and Kayla's"

 Leon reluctantly obeyed the look on his face said clearly he would rather NOT thank you very much. Still if Kayla could do it then he could.

 Brashawn spoke another word after they had gotten the body out of the casket and the vision returned to normal the casket lid closed and the people around the casket moved once more.

 The next thing Leon and Kayla were aware of was they were sitting in the edge of the pool and Raph's body lay near them in the water. Brashawn glanced at both of the children " You two did a great job but you could both use some rest. Now I don't want either of you telling anyone yet about what we have done here. You can't even tell your mother Kayla. We can not be sure that Raph's spirit will even stay in the body long enough to maintain it's hold or not. He might reject the body because it has no life and the spirit alone cannot give it life. The spirit will feel like the body is rejecting it and pushing it out. So Raph's spirit may not stay. If your father does manage to pull through all of the many if's along the path to being brought back to life then he will be very tired more so then what you two are right now and he will need to sleep. With luck though and if all goes in our favor Kayla you will soon have your father home but we are by no means out of the woods yet. Go on with you now." Brashawn dismissed them both.

 Neither Kayla nor Leon talked as they returned home Kayla dropped Leon off at his place before returning to her own home.

 As she entered the house she heard her mom call her into the living room.

 " Kayla we need to talk" Joan insisted.

" I know mom. I'm sorry about earlier. I know you loved dad and I was wrong I didn't mean what I said." Kayla added an apologetic tone to her voice output on her computer

 " Kayla your father was very dear to me and I know it looked like your Uncle Leo last night but it was your father he came back to say goodbye he wanted to say goodbye to you as well but he felt that it might make it harder for you to adjust to his death and his being gone." Joan started to explain.

 " I know mom or at least I know it now. I didn't know it back then and… well like I said I'm sorry. I just wish dad could have stayed with us."

 " That wouldn't have been very fair to Leo, Flo, Leon and Mia though Kayla. Leon and Mia need their father and we are going have to learn how to get along with out your father Kayla. He loved all of us and he did care about all of us but he can't stay. He wants us to be happy with out him. Now I know things haven't been too easy at home recently but we are going to adjust and get by. We can talk more about all of this later if you like. You look exhausted."

 " I am didn't sleep well last night. I think I could use a nap now." Kayla admitted through her computer.

 " All right" Joan sighed as she watched Kayla wheel her chair out of the room. It wouldn't be the first time Kayla had become over tired from searching the past for some hidden clue she felt might have some relevance to her or her family. Probably wouldn't be the last either Joan thought wistfully to herself.

TBC


	6. Resurrection

                                    Death's Dominion

Disclaimer: I deny any ownership of any adolescent transformed shadow warrior chelonians.

Author's Note: Last and final chapter and it is a long one.

Chapter 5 – Resurrection 

Raph groaned as he opened his eyes * I don't know Leo this time is definitely worst then the first time. Maybe it's all a big mistake and we're kidding ourselves about my chances of getting back.*

* There is no mistake Raph not unless you consider being with Joan a mistake*

Raph smiled * Being with Joan is never a mistake. What building is this Leo?*

* The visual art building painting, sculpting, theatrical* Leo replied.

* Not exactly a building I'd spend my time in. It isn't my style of school nothing to threaten or destroy a person in here*

* Flo is going to be here soon.*

* Then I am going elsewhere last thing I need is for your wife to come on to me just because she THINKS that I am you.*

* You can't run from her forever Raph. Besides you won't be able to get into your own body until later tonight so just be nice to Flo all right?*

* I can be nice Leo but I refuse to wrap tails with her. If she even tries THAT so help me Leo I'll clobber her.*

* You will not hurt Flo Raph no matter what you hear me? Besides I did it for you and Joan*

* That's different Leo, you always liked Joan and you didn't have much choice in the matter not when I control the body. I could have wrapped tails with out your consent you know I just didn't think it would have been fair to you under the circumstances* Raph explained.

Raph managed to evade Flo until later that night when Raph had to put in an appearance at Leo's home for dinner. As he ate he mentally compared Flo to Joan. Flo was taller then Leo was by a couple of inches in fact she was taller then the girls she called her sisters. Flo had reddish hair and red eyes while Joan had brown hair and green eyes. Joan was athletic. Flo was into creative arts and technical science. Joan was sweet, Flo could be abrasive. Flo might be classified as pretty but Joan was beautiful and Raph knew he wasn't the only one who thought so he had seen other Terrapin males turn their heads when Joan walked by. None of them would dare come on to her, not with her being married but there was no harm in looking.

  Raph had figured out long ago that Flo's one and only useful trait was she could irritate Leo faster then HE could and she actually managed to keep Leo away from him so he didn't hear as many lectures as he used to.

 Flo and Joan were as different as the night was from the day.

Leon was well aware of what was going on so he stayed close to his parents just in case his father had been lucky enough to get Raph's spirit. Leon didn't know if his dad had got that much cared for because he wasn't too sure that Raph was in there but the more he watched his father the more positive he became that it was Uncle Raph. Sure of that fact he created as much interference and interruptions as possible between the two adults knowing his Uncle would appreciate all a young boy could do to come between his parents.

 Flo must have gotten irritated at Leon's constant presence for she finally snapped out that it was " Bedtime now both you and Mia." 

 " Aww Mom it's not even close to bedtime" Leon protested.

 " NOW Leon. This is the first night that your father has been at home for awhile and you have been nothing but a pest all night now get to bed." Flo insisted.

 " Yes mom."

 " Leon it's your fault we're going to bed early" Mia sulked " I wasn't doing nothing."

" You weren't doing any thing Mia" Raph corrected.

 " That is what I said isn't it?" Mia declared.

 " Go on up and I'll come read you two a story" Raph said as Flo went to do up the dishes.

 He followed the children up and read them their stories tucking first Mia into her bed and then went into Leon's room to tuck him in. Leon snuggled under the covers with a large yawn " Are you really Uncle Raph?"

 " Yeah your dad got that much done. Pity that your mom has no idea of what is going on here."

 " Brashawn said that you could have driven dad crazy by being in his body."  
 " Goes to show what HE knows I've driving your father crazy for YEARS Leon."

 Leon giggled " Kayla said she saw you last night with Aunty Joan she thought it was my dad but she knows that isn't the way it was."

 " Good, she shouldn't think badly of her mother I've told her that time and time again and she always manages to find some way to hassle Joan. Kayla has too damned much of me in her."

 " I knew you would come back. I've seen you with us in the future just didn't know how it happened because I knew you couldn't bring the dead back. It seemed really hard to figure out. You are suppose to be with us for a long time but Splinter…" Leon fell silent and he trembled slightly.

 " Leon Splinter is very old now. He has had a very full and happy life and for many years he has told us that he wouldn't be with us for much longer and yet he still keeps going. I think being here on Terrapin has given him a few more years then he would have had if we stayed living in New York. It happens to all of us one day, we all die it is a simple fact of living. It is what we do with our life before we die that matters in the long run. Splinter isn't gone yet so don't go dwelling on what can't be changed enjoy him while he is here. You poor kid Leon, so seeing and so knowing and yet you still can't tell when pizzerias will come to Terrapin."

 " Pizzas are NOT important!"

 " How dare you Leon that is blasphemy, pizzas are THE most important thing."

 " Yeah right!" Leon guffawed at the thought alone.

 " Watch it kid where did you get that attitude from sure as heck wasn't from your dad that is for sure."

 Leon shrugged " Good night Uncle Raph."

" Sweet dreams Leon" Raph replied then went back downstairs and plunked down into a chair. Flo came in and sat on the arm of the chair smiling down at him.

 " Something bothering you Leona? You're awful quiet this evening."

 Raph glanced up at Flo and gave a small tight smile " I don't know Flo I guess I'm just a little tired this evening."

 She reached out and caressed his cheek with her fingers and Raph tensed slightly but permitted it " I know with Raph being gone and everything else, I mean come on I know how you are Leo you take so much onto yourself so I realize how hard it has been on you recently. I'm worried about you."

 " Oh Flo there is nothing to worry about honest. I think all I really need is one good night sleep. I'll be fine."

 " Considering the circumstances I don't doubt that you are fine Leo but…"

 " Flo don't worry please."

 Flo leaned over and gave him a long kiss which Raph endured with great distaste accepting it with no enthusiasm on his part * Leo if she doesn't back off so help me*

* You keep your temper Raphael you still have some hours to go* Leo ordered.

" Why so stiff tonight Leona? You seem to be miles away event though you are right here with me. What are you thinking of?"

 " I'm sorry Flo it's just I'm not much in to it tonight" Raph muttered at least he wasn't lying to her on that count.

 Flo started to massage his shoulders " You need to relax Leo and I think I know just the thing to do it."

 " No Flo I don't think that will help any. I'm just not INTERESTED!"

 " Gee and here all this time I thought that you wanted and desired me. Come on Leona I promise I'll make it good for you."

" Desire you Flo?" Raph put every once of sarcasm he had into his tone " NEVER. Leo might care about you that way but I sure as hell don't and there is no way I would EVER let YOU make it good for ME!" Raph yelled at her it was time to put Flo into her place and he ignored all of Leo's urgent warnings and threats to him.

 " Wait you said Leo might be…and you don't consider yourself Leo?"

 " Trust me on this much Flo at this moment I am not Leo."

 " Okay I'll play so who do you think you are if you don't believe yourself to be Leo?" Flo asked not too sure she really wanted to know the answer to that question but for Leo's sake having to ask it.

 " I am Raphael and I do not fool around on Joan. I don't care if technically I am dead at this moment and that my spirit has only taken over Leo's body for a time that makes no difference to me. I only want and desire Joan. Joan has always been the only one for me." Raph declared crossing his arms over his plastron and glowering up at the red head.

 " Leona I know you were taking Raph's death hard but I wasn't expecting anything quite like this. I never thought for one moment that your quilt and your grief would end up manifesting itself in such a form. Maybe you ought to talk to Splinter about all of this he can help you come to grips with Raph's death and help you move on. I'll help you Leo but you can't keep on like this you really do need help."

 " Splinter NEVER understood me at the best of times Flo" Raph snapped " I doubt that he is going start listening to me now."

 " Leo please you can't keep going on like this and you must know that it isn't doing you any good after all."

 " Tell you what Flo I'm going leave and I'll come back home when I am Leo then there will be no problem and no need to worry any one either" Raph growled as he got up. Flo stood to block him and he sneered at her as he pushed his way past storming out of the house and slamming the door behind him.

*  Thanks a lot Raph*

* She was coming on to me Leo what did you expect me to do? Be unfaithful to MY wife?*

Flo sighed as what she thought was her husband left the house in an uncharacteristic fashion. How could Leo even think that he was Raph? She shook her head in disbelief and she knew she couldn't deal with Leo if he continued this charade on her own. Hopefully Splinter might be able to offer some suggestions to ease Leo's delusions and the old Master ought to be informed of his son's behavior anyway.

  She went and tapped on Splinter's bedroom door and heard a muffled enter so slipped into the room. Splinter was relaxing in a chair reading a book which he set down and glanced her way " Flo daughter has Leonardo left to visit with Joan again?"

 " Maybe he has I don't know. We just had a bit of a disagreement. I know Leo has been under a great deal of stress but I can't figure out why he told me what he just did."

 Splinter raised a bushy eyebrow as he watched her expectantly.

 " He told me that he was Raph."

" He told you WHAT?" the usual unflappable Master jerked his head back in surprise and raised his voice from its usual soft tone to a yell.

 " He said that he was Raphael." Flo repeated.

 " That is not good" Splinter sighed shaking his head.

 " I didn't think so myself. Poor Leo he probably feels that he is to blame for Raph's death somehow but I never thought he would ever start to think of himself as Raph…I don't know I just don't know what to make of his confession." Flo admitted uneasily.

 " This has not been an easy time for any of us child and we are all still grieving for the loss of Raphael. I use to believe that Raphael's temper would be the end of him." Splinter mused before lapsing into silence.

 " I didn't get to know Raph all that well myself all I know was Joan loved him very much. At first when Leo started to spend so much time with Joan I thought it would be better for both of them. Yesterday Joan sounded so happy over the communicator so much like her old self and Leo told me she would be staying with the school after all and now Leo seems to have gone off the deep end."

 Splinter placed a hand on Flo's shoulder " As family we must stick by one another and help each other out through these very difficult times as time goes on we will be able to gain more perspective and we will not hurt as much. We must hold to that or end up losing one another. Do not worry we will find some way to help Leonardo" Splinter murmured suddenly looking much older then his many years.

Flo reached over and hugged the old rat to her.

Raph roamed aimlessly for quite some time until he felt an urge to go somewhere, following his gut instinct relying more on hunches then anything else he made his way to the pool of time itself.

 Raph saw his own body lying near the pool, he felt drawn to it and yet also knew that it shouldn't be here. He shouldn't be here. He trembled slightly unsure of what he should do.

 " Welcome Raphael."

 Raph whirled and noted the old turtle behind him " Who are you?" He snarled.

 " I am the first Brashawn the writer of the book of Prophecy…"

 " So you're the one who caused us all that trouble. Thanks heaps for that. Why couldn't you have at least put down in your prophecies that our kids were actually going to help Terrapin NOT destroy it?"

 " At that time all I knew is they would change Terrapin and our world would never be the same. I am also connected by blood you know, as I am Flo's great-great grandfather where do you think Leon gets his talent from it does run in the family. Anyway Raphael it is time for you to reunite with your own body and return to those who need you."

 " Will it work?" Raph asked

 " A lot of that depends on you Raphael. The hardest part was getting you to abandon your journey into the light for you could have taken your brother with you instead of returning him. You ought to consider yourself lucky to have him. Still you can't exist in his body so you must go to your own the Pool of time will help hold you in the body until you are capable of life again how ever you might find it difficult to stay in your body."

  " Is there anything I can do to help stay in my body or is it not my decision?"

 " You might be able to maintain a stronger hold to your physical body by keeping in mind those that you love. If your love for your family is strong enough then that alone can hold you in place. Your wife and children both will need you in the future. You still have a major role to play on Terrapin."

 " You're sure about all of this?"

 " I am the pool of times guardian I can check out any time I need to find out what I must know. Both Leon and Kayla know who I am. You are quite rightfully suspicious Raphael but tell me what have you to lose by trying this after we have gone to so much trouble to retrieve both your body and your spirit? If you fail you go to the light if you succeed you stay with your family."

 Raph scowled trying to figure out what other choices there might be or if there was more to all of this even then what he was being told. Still he realized he had nothing to lose by trying and Joan alone was well worth the gamble. He had come this far it would be ridiculous to turn back now, " All right let's do this." He declared.

 Brashawn smiled " As you wish."

Raph's spirit entered his own body but automatically he felt the difference from Leo's alive vital body to what he felt in his own. His own body held the very void he had tried to escape. It clung everywhere making him feel like a stranger unwanted in his own body.

 He wanted to leave just get out of there because it was not a place for him.

He felt something placed into his mouth but he couldn't taste anything and he didn't even feel it.

 He didn't care for this at all even the spirit world offered him more than what the shell of his own body. There was nothing here to hold him to this world.

 He fought to focus on Joan instead of the dead empty sensation of his body. He thought of the feel of Joan pressed up against them as they had danced, her soft lilting voice, the soft feel of her hair under his fingers or tickled his face. The way she moved with him when they made love. Oh yeah that was worth sticking around for. The laughs they had shared over the year. Then there had been last night he recalled every detail of their love making session and he longed to do it again and improve on that if only could. He wanted his wife in the worst possible way at this moment.

 Common sense against nonsense. Logic dictated that dead was forever and no one had ever returned to life after being dead for a week. Joan however was worth all this nonsense. What if it actually worked?

 He fought hard to stay when still the shell of his body seemed to be forcing him to leave. He started to actually taste a bit of the fluid as it poured over his tongue and down his throat. He heard a strange unfamiliar droning noise in his ears buzzing around and about his head. He tried to open his eyes found things to be blurry and out of focus.

 His first breath hurt pained him something awful but each following breath got easier and the droning sound got clearer. It was someone speaking.

 His eyes slowly came into focus and he was suddenly assaulted by many smells that churned his stomach. He felt very tired and weak drained as if he had no energy.

 But he was alive!

He heard the voice say something and the noise sounded uncommonly loud to his ears 

" He'll be all right now Leonardo but he will need plenty of sleep. You must see to it that he does not get disturbed his body needs time to adjust to life again so does his spirit. So he may sleep for a day or more. Just let him sleep it out he will be ravenous when he wakes but after a good meal he ought to be fine. He is quite lucky to have you looking out for him."

 " Ninja look out for their brothers" Leo intoned as he gazed down at Raph alive he knelt by his brother.

 " Good night Leonardo" Brashawn simply said and he vanished along with the pool of time leaving Raph and him alone in a grove of trees. Leo had to wonder about that how in the world could an entire pool disappear? Oh well he would have to worry about that later right now he had to get Raph home and some place quiet.

 At one time Flo and he decided to change the attic of their home into a spare bedroom for a guest or for when their family grew larger, they used part of the attic for storage and some for a bedroom, the bedroom half had carpeting on the floors was set near the two large windows and they had placed a few paintings on the walls to give the room more color. It was also the most soundproof spot in their whole home. It would do for Raph to sleep out his ordeal.

" Come on Raph let's get you home" Leo helped Raph to his feet and Raph staggered.

 " Don't tell me I have to carry you you're a little heavy for that Raph."

Raph staggered uneasily mumbling something. Leo sighed he had a feeling it would be a very long trip home. Leo managed to get Raph back and up to the attic without disturbing any of his family. He laid Raph on the bed and covered him with the blankets before opening the window to allow the air to come into the room. He felt extremely exhausted himself as he headed downstairs to his own bedroom and was shocked to see Flo awake reading in bed then again after the way Raph had treated her he should have expected as much. " You have been waiting for me Italy?"

 Flo looked up at him as he sank down to the edge of the bed and slipped under the covers beside her " Leo you have to stop punishing yourself. I was worried about you after you left. Where have you been?"

 " Oh Italy I'm sorry. Everything is all right now and I promise I am myself again to stay so you don't have to worry" He took her into his arms and nuzzled her neck and then kissing her.

 " I want to trust you Leo but so much has changed you have been so secretive lately and you yourself told me that you were Raph and you only wanted to be with Joan and right now I don't know what to think or believe all I know is trust is a two way street and for me to trust you, you have to trust me by letting me know what exactly is going on for you right now."

 " Your right Flo and you do deserve the truth the whole truth and the only reason I didn't tell you this before was that I didn't even believe what was going on myself anyway this is what has happened Flo…" Leo told her everything about how Raph had come to possess his body to be with Joan to help her " When Raph was in control of my body he did want to make love with Joan one last time but he felt that it wouldn't be right to me after all I went through to help him and he also knew that it might cause problems for us. I convinced Raph to go ahead and do it. I am telling you this Flo so you know you can fully trust me; I'm being fully honest with you and hiding NOTHING from you. It was Raph who made love to Joan not me. I was there I saw without seeing I felt without feeling. Ask Joan about it later if you want I'm sure she will back me up on this. As for what happened tonight that becomes a little more involved" Leo continued to explain the rest of the story " now before you tell me I am still crazy and getting much worse follow me I have something o show you."

 Leo lead a still skeptical Flo up to the attic and pointed to the hunch form under the blankets.

 Flo tiptoed over and gazed down at the sleeping turtle she lightly touched his shoulder.

 Raph groaned at her touch burrowing further under the blankets " Get LOST Splinter!" he muttered in his sleep.

 Flo smiled shaking her head as she went over to Leo and hugged him " Don't let anyone know he is here Italy. He must not be disturbed I have a feeling if he is forced to wake up before he is ready it might not be that good for him. Let us keep this between us for now. I think Leon and Kayla might know but Raph needs his sleep so the less who know the better." Leo explained softly before guiding her back down to their room.

Three days later Splinter and the boys gathered for early morning practice in the basement of Leo's house. Splinter had been discouraged by Don's and Mike's lack of enthusiasm and had asked Joan to join the boys and whip them in to shape.

 Joan realized why Splinter had asked her to help out when she found Mike not doing a great deal to try and fend her off as she tossed him easily. " You are getting soft Mikey" she teased him.

 " Michaelangelo's mind is on other things I am afraid," Splinter agreed.

 " Aw come on Master what good is all this practice anyway. It just isn't the same with out Raph here."

 " I know Mike but you'll get use to it. We all miss him and you just have to accept it" Joan suggested.

 " I don't want to accept it!"

 " Michaelangelo listen to Joan she has learned to cope and manage as must you my son."

" I didn't say any thing Master" Mike protested.

 " No I did!"

 Everyone but Leo turned toward the direction of the voice to see Raph on the stairs. 

" How you feeling Raph?" Leo drawled.

 " Starvin' Leo bro I owe you big time" Raph replied leaping down the remaining stairs and going over to hug Leo.

 " Glad to have you back Raph oh by the way you have missed four and a half sessions and I intend for you to make them up" Leo announced casually.

 " Shut up!" Raph growled smacking Leo playfully.

 Joan had stood open mouth staring in amazement but she finally found her voice " Domoskan?"

 Raph knew he was going to make a fool of himself in front of his family but at this point he didn't give a damn. Hell he'd probably be willing to take her right there only thing is she wouldn't be willing to allow it. He opened his arms as Joan ran into them; he picked her up in his arms spinning her slightly as he kissed her long and hard.

 He finally broke off the kiss and saw tears in her eyes " Here now what's this for, you don't have to cry for me now Liralen. I'm home now."

 " I know but how? I thought after… I thought…I lost you for good."

 " You can thank Leo for me being here."

 " Not just me but Leon and Kayla as well they helped out too." Leo admitted.

Joan looked over to see a smug satisfied look on the turtle leader's face she strolled over to him " I don't think we can ever find a way to fully repay you for all that you have done for us Leo" with that Joan leaned forward kissing him full on the lips. Leo jerked back uncertain figuring Raph wouldn't like this one bit.

 Raph just grinned " Go ahead smooch see if I care" he gestured freely.

 Leo relaxed as Joan once again kissed him this time wrapping his own arms around her and returning the kiss, thankful that Raph at least had come to accept their friendship with one another.

 " I knew it! I just knew you couldn't be dead Raph" Mike crowed bouncing around.

 " Correction I was dead but it was boring so I decided to come back. I had nothing better to do."

Splinter finally inquired, " How could this be though?"

So Raph with Leo's help filled in the family on how he could be alive in spite of the odds against it.

 " Freaky" Mike whispered.

 " I don't care what it is or what you want to call it. All I care about is you are alive and you are back home with me" Joan said her voice sounding chocked up.

 " Ssh Liralen don't start crying again" Raph pulled her closer to him stroking her hair with one hand " You were right Leo this is so worth it."

 " By the way Raph about the way you treated Flo last night…"

 " She was coming on to me Leo. Hell I could have really blown my temper instead I told her the truth. I am only in love with Joan."

 " She thought you were me she was really worried about me you know" Leo protested.

 " I worry about you too Leo" Raph agreed.

Leo gave Raph a dirty look. Raph chuckled " I know THAT look Leo that is the I wish you would grow up look."

 Leo laughed, " In your case I have a feeling you are as grown up as you are going to get."

 Raph sketched a mock bow in his brother's direction.

 Splinter smiled " I think that class is dismissed until tomorrow. I am glad you are back with us my son."

 " Thanks Master. I think I'm going get some breakfast and then try to figure out what caused me to die in the first place so I can avoid it this time around."

 " Good luck with that Laura hasn't even figured it out yet. Don't even head to her lab until I have a chance to warn her" Don warned.

 " Aw you are no fun Donny I wanted to see if I could make her faint."

 " Give her a heart attack more like it" Don stated.

 " Whichever works for me" Raph teased him.

 Raph managed to pack away almost a whole days worth of food for breakfast alone before he headed toward Laura's lab on his way over to the medical school he saw a few students that he knew from the fighting art school or survival school some of them avoided him as if he was some form of evil apparition others went forward to talk to him as if to confirm what their eyes had told them that it was Raph back in the flesh.

Joan had assured Raph that she would inform Master Taria of her best students reappearance.

 Raph finally made it after many interruptions to Laura's lab " Hi ya Laura how ya doin'?"

 " Raph it is so good to see you again. I never did like to lose any patients" she said as she went and hugged him.

 " Well can't say that you would be lucky enough to get them all back Laura."

 " I don't care you are the one that I hated losing the most because my little sister was lost without you. I still haven't figured out what caused it. All I know is that it does deal with how the antidote reacts to your mutant blood but I haven't narrowed it down to WHAT or found something that could be used as an alternative for you mutants."

 " Well at least I know what you have covered now let me see if I can find something you missed. If I can't find what I need I'll let you know it is time for me to run some experiments on myself." Raph found all that he was looking for. Teji insect venom, antidote for it, and syringes to draw blood from.

  A few hours later Raph sat back in his chair " The problem is the antidote as you have said the reason is it causes an allergy reaction to us mutants, take a look at the bumps on my skin where I put a drop on. Then check out a slide of the antidote in a bit of our blood. The allergy reaction it causes plus the reaction we are all ready fighting due to the venom is enough to kill us. At least that is my theory, not that I'm good at theories I try to leave those to Don."

 " Then we need a different antidote for you guys and possibly the children as well and it does make sense." Laura sighed as she checked out what Raph had learned.

 " Great if that theory makes sense then I'll go one more and say that we mutants don't need an antidote at all I think we can fight off the venom on our own. Only way to see if I'm right on that one is to test it out."

 " Raph you're CRAZY!" Laura yelped.

 " Calm down Laura I don't intend to kill myself here. I can be dumb I admit to that but I'm not a complete idiot. I'll take just enough Teji venom to make me sick not enough by a long shot for death." Raph told her as he calmly measured out the venom and injected it into an arm.

 Laura winced but stood by to watch the reaction from it once she started to see signs of Raph starting to react to the venom she waited a few more seconds before drawing more blood to check that " Raph your white blood cells have shot up dramatically."

 " Good that's a start."

 A half hour later Raph was perfectly fine Laura checked him out fully and did another blood test verifying that Raph was healthy and his blood cells were already dropping back to normal.

 " Great call on that one Raph I'm going have to check the kids see if they act the same way."

 " No problem Laura just remember I NEVER want to take that blasted antidote again for as long as I live."

Joan and Raph relaxed by the fire that evening after the children were in bed Joan leaned back in Raph's arms as he massaged her shoulders. He bent and kissed her neck " So not to hurry you I like having you at home but I know you will not be staying here, when are you going back to work?"

 " Next week the school reopens" Joan replied.

 " Are you going keep your promise of using Splinter more often so you can spend more time with us." Raph whispered.

 " You don't have to keep me to that promise Domoskan not after all that you and I have gone through this past week. When you are our age you don't think much about dying and now I know how quick I could lose someone I love trust me I want to make time for those I care about before I lose them."

 Raph smiled " Here now don't you start crying on me you fool girl! I love you so much and I'm glad that you do want to keep your promise to me but trust me you start working to hard as you have a tendency to do and I will come after you. Next time one of us dies may it be when we are too old to care," he murmured softly as he continued to kiss her.

 Joan smiled she was content and happy to have him back again and she was truly grateful for all the forces that had played a part in bringing Raphael back to her again.


End file.
